I cry over memories past.
I cry over moments lost.
I cry cause I never got the chance to say goodbye.

I am different. All these changes in me. Are you missing this life we get to see?
I’m not saying you’d be better off if you were here, I’m saying I would be.

I cry over memories past. 
I cry over moments lost. 
I cry cause I never got a chance to say how much you mean to me. 
You changed the person I will be and say how much I miss you.

I never got a chance to say, goodbye.

-Daniels Song by Lauren Lee

Three years ago today, a boy, my friend tragically passed away. I heard the song above shortly after and it’s funny, even comforting, that you always seem to get just what you need. Any and all words then seemed to fail me. Still do.

It’s a jolting experience to hear of a loved ones death but it’s shocking when that loved one was twenty five. Still a baby. At twenty six now, I realize I’m older than he’ll ever be. Ever get to experience. That alone is heartbreaking.

A lot of people had a lot of different opinions, viewpoints of Jesse but to me, he was a bigger than life, hysterically funny, loving, caring, joking, thoughtful friend.

One afternoon, I was walking home from school and Jesse saw that I was walking alone. He lived in the complete opposite direction of me but he ran up to me and asked if he could walk with me. Here he was, the coolest guy at school, walking me, ME home. I don’t remember what we talked about but I do remember how I felt walking with him. They say people won’t remember what you said to them but they will remember how you made them feel. He always made me feel special. Always.

It’s weird how much I miss him.What’s tragic is to realize how much someone means to you when you no longer have the privilege to let them know. In the same breath though, it’s comforting to know that I will see him again. One day. I can only imagine the kind of fun he’s having in Heaven….that warms my heart.

Jesse James Mason, I love you and I miss you terribly friend.

I wrote this exactly 365 days ago. Jesse’s now been gone for 1,460 days. I sure do miss my friend.